4 Months Later

I will NEVER. BE. ENOUGH. 

The laundry may never be caught up. 

The food will probably not be healthy or fresh or made from scratch. 

The floors will not be spotless. 

I'll cry from exhaustion. 

I'll hide in the bathroom and let children cry for 5 minutes while I brush my teeth for the first time in three days, and maybe even brush the dried baby barf out of my hair. 

My days will be chaotic and my nights will be sleep deprived. 

There will be more fingernails and toenails than I can keep trimmed. 

There will be more noses then I can keep wiped. 

I'll make up answers to questions like "why do waves roll over but whirlpools go in circles?" Because "I don't know" isn't good enough and my brain can't actually manage to come up with the real answer. 

And I'll drop things every evening because my arms and my back are too tired from never being empty. 

And I'll mop up seas of barf and poop and change diapers and run laundry and fix snacks. 

And I'll go a little crazy on some days. 

And I'll cry some mornings because the sun is coming up but I haven't slept yet. 

And I'll cry some nights because the sun is going down and I haven't enjoyed my children yet. 

And I'll look in each of their eyes and they will fill me with joy and the Lord will fill me with awe at what He can do. 

And I'll laugh with them because He is enough to give joy. 

And I'll tell them I'm proud of them because He is enough to let me see past the mess and the smells and the noise. 

And I'll be in awe of how beautiful they are because He is enough to clear the fog of stress and sin and exhaustion from my eyes and let me see them with the love that He has for them. 

And I'll sing to them because He is enough to fill my heart with songs. 

And I'll lift them up and snuggle them close because He has filled my arms with His most precious creations. 

And maybe.

Just maybe.

I'll get to shave my legs. ;)