I love gays.

I have a very deep love for gay people. Men and women both. It's coupled with an aching sorrow and pity that sometimes causes me to be overwhelmed by my complete inability to help them. I've spent hours in deep conversations with multiple homosexuals, taking them to the word of God and showing them the source of my love for them; the unending, immeasurable love of Christ Jesus.

Because of this, I find that I often go on tangents against "Christians" who insist that the only way to love a gay individual is to accept them for who they are. Today I had an acquaintance make a big deal out of how she thinks boys are frustrating and annoying, but her gay friends are her best friends because they're the best of both world. She rebukes me anytime I say anything against sodomy because she says it isn't "Christ Like" because Jesus loves them.

People who claim to love the Lord will insist that gays were "born that way," and try to worship with them, try to let them teach them from God's word... why? Is that love? Is it love to hire a prostitute because she needs money to feed her kids? Do we say she was born to be a prostitute, so it's alright? Is that love? Is it love to buy a 12 pack for the drunk who's laying in his own vomit? Can we say he was born to be an alcoholic and invite him to bring his friends into our church for a couple free beers? Do we elect sex offenders as our deacons because God gave them those drives, or pedophiles as our Sunday School teachers because they know how to relate to kids?

Love means showing them the truth. Not letting them believe in lies.

Love means empowering them to get free of their pitfalls. Not feeding their addictions.

Love means showing them Christ. Not our own inability to reconcile the concepts of perfect love and perfect justice.

We need to stop "accepting" and start loving. We need to tell the truth, even when it hurts. We need to let ourselves be hated and ridiculed and go against the culture to stand up for righteousness, for holiness, for morality and for love.

We need to follow the word of God, not our own heads and hearts.

I know His promise never faileth...

I know, I know, that Jesus liveth,
And on the earth again shall stand;
I know, I know, that life He giveth,
That grace and power are in His hand.


---------

At the library. Came here from Q's workplace, where I met him for his fifteen minute break. Went there from Aaron and Jenna's place, where I was picking up Q's bass guitar case and Cory's violin that had been sitting there since they moved in almost a year ago. lol. Before that they spent about a year sitting in our family's basement. We have the bass...but since it stays home I hadn't even thought to miss the case.

This is a very noisy keyboard.

I'm hungry.

Gonna run home for 10 minutes from here to fix a blt (Jenna was making them for lunch when I was there an hour ago and now it sounds too good NOT to make!) then I'll be off to water aerobics. I missed all three classes last week. Skipped Monday on purpose, then Quinn had Wednesday and Friday evenings off work due to the accident, so I stayed home with him. I'm looking forward to going tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~

Friday's appointment went... I guess it wasn't good or bad. Dr L didn't know what to think. Due to the Monday night incident he's ordered an ultrasound of my kidney and referred me to a neurologist for the leg thing. Also, we did a full blood panel and a urinalysis and everything came back clear. I guess that's good, though two more appointments on the calendar is not something that makes me happy.

__________________

Quinn's been to the chiropractor twice this week. He's even more sore then he was before he went. Poor guy.

I can't wait to get back to our health-care-free existance. I hate all this doctery stuff. :P

**********

When I found out I was pregnant I started reading through the Bible out loud. It takes a lot longer to read out loud then it does to read to oneself. I made it through Genesis and part of Matthew, got sick, and let the habit go. Lately I've been reading the Psalms out loud, but just today I got back to Matthew. There are so many amazing stories packed into so few verses... it's overwhelming to read the gospels more than a bit at a time.

Also reading A Man Called Peter.  I remember at least starting it when I was 12 or 13, but don't remember whether or not I ever finished it. Quinn picked it up about the time I finished the first chapter and was hooked, so I gave it up for three days while he blasted his way through it. Now he's working through the sermons in the back of it a bit at a time, so I pretty much have posession of it again. Spent a couple hours sunk into the couch at Panera reading last night while Quinn studied. It was a lovely couple of hours.

I hate using my glasses, but they make reading much easier. I can't wear them to walk around or I get "see sick, from seeing too much," as Tigger would say.

I miss Pooh Bear.
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Made tater tot casserole yesterday. I had a sudden craving for it about the time I walked past the frozen potatoes at Wal-Mart. It's the easiest thing ever.
 
Tater Tots
Ground Beef
White Onion
Cream of Mushroom Soup
Milk
Shredded Cheese of Choice (I like monterey jack)
Salt
Pepper
 
Chop your onion and brown with your ground beef, salt and pepper. Strain and put into casserole dish. Mix enough milk into your cream of mushroom soup to make it pourable, and pour it over the meat and onions. Sprinkle with cheese. Top with taters. Bake at 400 until tots are crispy.
 
Enjoy way more than is healthy.
 
******************
 
Gonna run home now. ttyl.
-Joanna

I am poured out like water....

...and all my bones are out of joint:

My heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels.

Ye that fear the Lord, praise Him;

All ye the seed of Jacob, glorify Him;

And fear Him, all ye the seed of Israel.

For He hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither hath He hid His face from him; but when he cried unto Him, He heard.

(Psalms 22)

...Our drops of sorrow may well be forgotten in the ocean of His griefs, but oh, how our love ought to rise! Come in, O strong and deep love of Jesus, like the sea at the flood in spring tides, cover all my powers, drown all my sins, wash out all my cares, lift up my earth-bound soul, and float it right up to my Lord's feet, and there let me lie, a poor broken shell, washed up by His love, having no virtue or value; and only venteruring to whisper to Him that
                if He will put His ear to me, He will hear within my heart

faint echos of the vast waves of His own love

which have brought me where it is

                                       my delight to lie....

Even at His feet forever.

-C.H. Spurgeon

--------------------------------

Pastor D. quoted an old African proverb yesterday: "The same sun that melts the wax, hardens the clay."   The ocean of God's love is there for every man. His light shines on the heart of every person, and every heart is given the choice to be made like clay, or like wax. To melt in the presence of truth, or to let that truth harden them. How vast is a love that is great enough for all? How valuble is the blood that can cover every sin ever commited? How perfect the righteousness that can purge every destroyed life? How great the mercy that can turn ashes into beauty and give joy in place of tears?


~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

I had to take down my hummingbird feeder last week while the roofing crew re-shingled our building, but today I got it back up. This time it's full of sugar water, and any day the hummingbirds should  hit our region... I can't wait.

I managed to pour hot sugar water over my thumb after boiling it down. It's another stupid wound that doesn't have visible signs, but hurts like heck. Waa.

Can't believe the beauty of God's world today. The oil pan in my car was leaking, so we had to take the car to the shop. I'm getting pretty good at staying off the main roads in S-field, thanks to Q's coaching, so I got a huge dose of perfect weather and gorgeous spring while driving through town. Everything is in bloom and the trees are just starting to fill out. Birds are going crazy, singing their hearts out, building their nests, falling in love...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The sea is His, and He made it; and His hands formed the dry land.
O come let us worship and bow down: let us kneel before the Lord our Maker.

For He is our God; and we are the people of His pasture, and the sheep of His hand.

----------------------

Potassium diet. Ew.

Went to my OB appointment on Thursday and she's sending me to another dr. 'cause of my leg issues. (buckling under me, losing strength in them for 20-40 minutes at a time, so on.)  So sometime this coming week I get to see ANOTHER dr. and do ANOTHER round of tests. Ew. The OB is a HUGE stretch for me, coming from a practically dr-free life for 20 years, so this is just overwhelming and depressing on a whole new level.

Thankfully, Dr. L, who she is sending me to, is someone I have met and actually like. I went to Quinn's check up with him a couple weeks ago, which was his first since he switched insurance providers and therefore the first with this dr, and I thought Dr. L was fun, efficient and overall a likable guy. Quinn found him a little too business like, but I like it when people mind what they're supposed to mind. I think that was a special little thing the Lord did for me (having me meet Dr. L ahead of time) because I almost didn't go to the clinic with Quinn, then I almost just sat in the lobby during the appointment, and I'm not even quite sure how I ended up in the exam room...

So, anyway, talking to Mom about it, we were talking through basic deficiencies that might be causing  said issues. Calcium is not one of them, as I have a high dairy intake and take 2000 mg of calcium in a high quality supplement every night. What Mom came up with was potassium. A potassium deficiency can cause basic muscular dysfunction.

I did some googling, found a couple of lists of foods high in potassium and amounts recommended  for pregnant women, came up with the number of 3500 mg or 80-100ish mEq, and made this list of things to consume every day for four days to see if my cramps lessen and I get back to the point where I can walk more than 20 ft at a time:

-2 smoothies a day containing :

1/2 cup plain yogurt (which is a high potassium source, weirdly enough)

8 oz blueberry/pomegranate juice (found a bottle at Wally with 365 mg per 8 oz. It's nasty though. Quinn smelled it and said "dang. You could clean floors with that."  Yeah.) 

1/2 cup strawberries (to break up the taste) 

-2 bananas

-1 baked potato, skin on

-1/4 cantaloupe

-1 cup of frozen broccoli

-1 8 oz glass of milk

And it comes out to right around 100 mEq a day. I kept it high so that if I miss an item then I'll still make the recommended amount. 

The smoothies are soooo nasty and it's the juice that does it. Not sure how to disguise it...

--------------

I'm pretty used to eating this much produce on any given day, but the juice in the smoothies is making it hard. I'm used to a nice, yummy, strawberry, pineapple, orange smoothie when I make a smoothie. (probably 5 or 6 times last week)  I just downed a 16 oz glass of the filthsome blueberry/pom stuff for breakfast and I'm feeling rather nauseated. 

--------------

Didn't get around to potato pancakes yesterday morning, as it was on orchestra morning and Quinn made me promise to sleep until the last minute, so I had a boiled egg and a plum for breakfast. 

I'm gonna make them for brunch today. Yay!

--------------

Quinn stopped at RedBox last night and got Wolverine, 'cause I hadn't seen it yet. Other than seeming very long, and the retarded scene with the Blob, I very much enjoyed it. Reminded me of a debate between Aaron and I years ago when Reign of Fire came out and the first x-Men was still pretty new, and Aaron was all in love  with Matthew Mcconaughey's  build and starting to work out a lot, but I insisted that next to Jackman, Mcconaughey was a scrawny dork... Aaron and I had a LOT of debates at that stage in life.

We were some of those siblings who did absolutely everything together and adored each other, but fought 90% of the time. About everything. About each other's friends, about clothes, movies, schedules, plans, food, etc. The only thing we didn't fight about was our Jesus. It's hard to fight about Him. As soon as He comes up in any conversation it becomes so easy to be pleasant and understanding. 

He has this way of doing that to people...if they let Him. 

Thank God for Christ. 

-------------

My 5 year old baby brother got baptized on Easter morning! Story goes that he went to Mom on Saturday evening, insisting that he needed to be baptized because it was a picture of Jesus rising from the dead, so Mom told him to talk to Dad about it, so he went to Dad, and they agreed that he needed to be baptized. Sunday services the next morning, and no one thinking that Benjamin was going to be baptized until a later date, but church ended and Benjamin went running to the church crying "no! Wait! You forgot! I HAVE to be baptized TODAY!" 

So everyone waited for 40 minutes while the guys pulled a stock tank to the front yard and put a few inches of water in the bottom of it, then they all gathered round and the sweet little man was baptized. The pictures are precious. I, sadly, was not there,  but on Monday I got to talk to him about it and he was all smiles and nods and happyness. I'll post a few pics as soon as I can get them from my Mom.

I was baptized on Easter Sunday in 98. It was a huge deal to me. My brother Daniel was baptized the same day.... it's so amazing to be a part of a family that adores Christ Jesus and always puts Him first.

--------------------------

God bless and keep you all!

-Jo

Lord, You are more precious than silver.
Lord, You are more costly than gold.
Lord, You are more beautiful than diamonds,
And nothing I desire compares to You.

Hmm.

Rachael Ray is a little skanky this morning.... She's grating stuff by hand and it's shaking her whole body, and I highly doubt anyone is looking at her hands....

I like to turn her show on at about 11:40, so I just catch the fun recipes at the end. Yesterday Quinn came in from class about 10 minutes before her show was over and sat on the couch totally appalled. Her entire recipe was butter, potatoes, more butter, eggs, more butter, white bread, more butter... 

It's my favorite way to cook. ;)

This morning she's making massive spicy burgers. They look sooooo good. She grates her onion into her meat instead of chopping it. It's that kind of simple genius that makes me enjoy her show.

That, and the butter...

--------------------

Meat loaf for dinner tonight. I'm making a 2.5 pound loaf and I'm wondering how long it will last. We'll probably fry leftovers for sandwhiches tomorrow. How I love fried meatloaf.

Mashed taters and a salad for sides. I'm already looking forward to it. Not sure what I'm doing for lunch yet...

I love making meat loaf because it's NOT an exact science. Chop a little onion, pour in a little worchester, lots of black pepper, some seasoning salt, some bread crumbs, a couple eggs, a couple tablespoons of milk, a pinch of dry mustard, a pinch of garlic...

Mrs. Ray REALLY needs to do something about that neckline. She's grating onions again. wheesh.

And I'm gonna make an extra ton of mashed taters so I can make potatoe cakes for breakfast tomorrow. Quinn's never had them.... they're another nonexact science. A little onion, a little flour, an egg or two, more pepper, more salt....fry in a lot of butter...serve with fried eggs and bacon...mmmmmm.

------------------------

Spurgeon this morning was a cry to the sinners, citing the sufferings of Christ and quoting God who will "laugh at the calamity" of the wicked. He summed it up with "Trust in the Son of God and ye shall never die."

It's so easy to forget the simplicity of the love of Christ, but there it is. Trust in Him and ye shall never die. Let Him take care of your sins, your iniquities, your bad habits, your failures, and live. Live in the fulness of the Lord. Live in His joy. Live in freedom, and trust in the Son of God.

My faith has found a resting place

Not in device or creed

I trust the ever living One

For me his wounds shall plead

I need no other argument

I need no other plea

It is enough that Jesus died

And that He died for me

It's enough for me that Jesus saves

This ends my fear and doubt

A sinful soul I come to Him

He'll never cast me out

My great Physician heals the sick

The lost He came to save

For me His precious blood was spilled

For me His life He gave