When I was 13 I know I was sure I had made it. I was finally not a "runt" -- my tiny little self was almost normal height for my age for the first time, I could hit 90% of my free throws with a full size basketball, I was playing "real" piano music, I was allowed to wear 2" of heel on my dressy shoes, my ears were pierced, and I was starting to drink coffee.
That year, boys made it on my radar for real. I had always had fairy tale dreams and daydreamed of the Lone Ranger or Indiana Jones riding into my life, but now the boys around me were actually interesting.
At least, the ones who were old enough to be "grown up". I went through a couple of pretty serious crushes that summer and the next, but I wasn't even prepared for the level of crush that would hit when I was 15.
At least, the ones who were old enough to be "grown up". I went through a couple of pretty serious crushes that summer and the next, but I wasn't even prepared for the level of crush that would hit when I was 15.
See, back in that crazy 13th year of mine, we had made some new friends. A new family had come to church -- coming out of the Mennonite church and trying to settle somewhere new, they had 7 kids and were expecting number 8, the oldest three of which lined up with me and my 3 older brothers in age range. Their oldest girl was only 4 months from my age, and it took a few months, but we were "BFFs" before the year was out. the 5 guys and we 2 girls buddied around everywhere. Ice skating, basketball, tennis, street witnessing, game nights, movie nights, coffee dates, you name it, we were there.
Her two older brothers became my first real "guy friends" over that year. I trusted them, I was comfortable around them, we all "got" each other.
Then, when I was 15, we all ended up on a mission trip together. That spring I had noticed that Quinn had really, really beautiful eyes, but that was pretty much all I had noticed.
Then, all the sudden, I found myself thoroughly crushed on him. Seriously? That one caught me off guard. It wasn't too hard to break it, though, since he was interested in someone else and 5 years older than me and all that stuff. Off I went into winter with him properly back in his "friend" position.
During that winter he made impacts on my life, unintentionally. There were situations that should have beaten him down, when he knuckled down and fought his way back to the surface. He was there for his sister through some of their worst times, when I was also trying my hardest to be good and strong friend for her, and he always had good counsel for her. When I couldn't be there to help her, he always was. He almost seemed to thrive on the hardships -- while it wasn't the greatest time for him, spiritually, he didn't sink when most would have. During that time he introduced me to Rich Mullins, and set an example for gritty determination that rocked my world.
It was the next spring. 10 years ago now, not I realized that when I looked at Quinn I didn't see just a friend.
10 years I've had a crush on him.
10 years I've melted a little every time we've made eye contact.
10 years I've admired his determination.
10 years I've known he was different, and known that whatever we had, friendship or crush or love, we worked.
10 years we've shared favorite lyrics.
10 years we've recommended books back and forth.
10 years laughed at each other's favorite things, then learned to love them ourselves.
10 years he's made me laugh with his goofy humor and antics.
10 years he's made me feel safe by never once mocking or belittling me.
10 years he's pushed me to be better, to learn more, to stretch my mind, to be hungry to learn, to be hungry for God.
10 years he's brought me new songs and hymns and we've worked through them at the piano.
10 years I've known he was my best friend.
The next 3 years were insanity. Going from 16 and realizing your best friend was a 21 year old guy who you barely had one-on-one conversations with, to 19 and getting married barefoot in a park wasn't exactly a smooth transition. It was one of ups and downs and "dear john" letters and apologies and tears and late, sleepless nights of prayer, and each of us trying so hard to forget each other and be interested in other people, and fighting with parents, and then months of hours and hours and hours of corresponding about everything from doctrines of speaking in tongues to favorite memories to life goals and dreams of missions and ideas for helping, and then more breaking up and more tears and more fighting with parents and then more letters and more tears and never ever doubting, even for a second, that he was willing to do whatever, whenever, however, to make sure I was safe and happy.
We had had all of three actual, official "dates" when he got down beside his little car, late at night, and looked at me with those eyes of his and said "are you actually sure that you want to be stuck with this crazy guy forever?" And I laughed at my best friend. Could a person be more sure than I was right then? I doubt it. "I'll take you home right this second if you want. Are you sure that you want to leave it all for me?"
He slipped a little diamond band onto my finger. Simple and understated just like everything about our interactions and friendship and love up to that point.
It's been 7 years now, since we gathered black eyed susans and queen anne's lace and went to the park to sit with our feet in the creek and pray together. 7 years since we vowed to love and honor and forgive each other until death. 7 years since he sat down with a bowl of water and washed my feet while talking about how Christ had shown how a groom should treat his bride when he washed the feet of the disciples, and how a husband is a servant and protector first.
And now, here we are. About to birth our 4th child. Living in a happy home of joyful children and love. The "downs" we have had have been short lived and we've worked through them. We are learning how to strengthen our relationship instead of letting it gradually fade. After 10 years of being best friends, it feels like there was never a point in our lives without "us".
And that "grown up" 13 year old girl with freshly pierced ears is now a mommy of 4 who thanks her Savior every single day that an 18 year old Mennonite boy in suspenders and who looked like Roger from 101 Dalmations walked into her church one night in October, long ago...
Happy anniversary, precious friend of mine. You're my favorite thing. I love you more than life.
Let mercy lead,
Let love be the strength in your legs
And in every footprint that you leave
There'll be a drop of grace.
If we can reach
Beyond the wisdom of this age
Into the foolishness of God,
That foolishness will save
Those who believe.
Although their foolish hearts may break
They will find peace,
And I'll meet you in that place
Where mercy leads.
Let love be the strength in your legs
And in every footprint that you leave
There'll be a drop of grace.
If we can reach
Beyond the wisdom of this age
Into the foolishness of God,
That foolishness will save
Those who believe.
Although their foolish hearts may break
They will find peace,
And I'll meet you in that place
Where mercy leads.
-R. Mullins
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